I was in a drunken conversation the other day, and one of my friends decided to point out a safe argument made by one of his Saint Joe’s ethics professors. The argument he made was that perception affects our stance on judging a person’s morality, and more importantly decision making. He then told a story about two characters who went nameless and their deeds. One was a poor boy, self educated, that through hard work and a turbulent political system worked his way up to become leader of his country. This boy never did drugs or alcohol. Never committed adultery, and brought his country out of extreme poverty to become one of the prominent nations in the world. The other boy drank and smoked his entire life. He came from a wealthy family, but squandered his family fortune quickly after they died. He had a decent political career but was kicked out of office several time for his antics.
Of course I knew who he was talking about before he told me. The first boy was Adolf Hitler and the second boy was Sir Winston Churchill. The whole thing made me wonder what other high profile people either don’t presently drink, or didn’t. Thus I have created a my top 10 list of people who don’t or didn’t drink alcohol.
Adolf Hitler
Though I already touched upon Hitler, do you ever wonder what the world would be like if he had drank? I really think if Hitler had taken a little time to sip a nice cocktail on occasion, he probably would have reconsidered the choices he was making. I mean come on, 5pm hits and we all ask ourselves: What should I do tonight- Genocide or go out for a drink? I think we all generally make the right decision.
Marie Antoinette
Interesting fact: Marie was sentenced to death because the French revolutionaries made her son get drunk and sign papers saying that she sexually abused him.
Tyra Banks
Tyra doesn’t drink but she definitely has modeled for Coors light. What really threw me for a spin is that when she goes out to eat she orders a glass of wine to hold. Apparently (and this whole thing is unconfirmed) holding the glass of wine “makes her feel sexy.”
Warren E. Buffett
The fact that Warren Buffett doesn’t drink is made ten times odder by the fact that he resides in Omaha. If you have ever been to Omaha you know exactly what I am talking about (I’m talking to you Nick Hexum). You practically need a drink just crossing the Nebraska state line.
George W. Bush
I could write something here but it is the equivalent of a layup. So instead make your own Bush/ Alcohol joke and send it to staff@manayunkdrinkspecials.com . I will do a follow up post and put the best jokes in the post.
Tom Cruise
If you are ever forced to choose between booze and Scientology please consider your options.
Crazy Horse
A brave and admirable human being. I have no doubt that his sacrifice to not drink was a reflection of his dedication to make the world a better place.
Jennifer Lopez,
Monster-in-Law (2005)… and there was no alcohol involved.
Friedrich Nietzsche,
I found it absolutely fascinating that Nietzche didn’t drink. I found a few quotes here that explain it.
Donald Trump,
I love this picture
As much as I like the concept of a rich person being rich by explaining to other people how to become rich, Donald Trump cracks me up. He almost bankrupts himself by trying to get into media (early 90’s), then makes up for it years later with The Apprentice? How can people idolize someone that cannot buy a good haircut with millions of dollars… oh and the Trump Taj Mahal is in chapter 11 again.
I guess the long story short is go read Brett Easton Ellis’ “American Psycho.”